


Breathing Underwater

by nastymajesty



Category: Splatoon
Genre: F/F, I'm not sorry, M/M, Multi, Not Serious, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, shitfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9657614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nastymajesty/pseuds/nastymajesty
Summary: What is beautiful is good, and who is good will soon be beautiful.Or, alternatively,Gree gets wrapped up in an adventure after trying to prove a point to her friends, meeting Tebta and perusing Hot Squid/Octo Romance along the way.Shitfic-ified version of ReFrostE's Seafoam Kettle-Eyes.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kittydatefriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittydatefriend/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Seafoam Kettle-Eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7785781) by [Kittydatefriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittydatefriend/pseuds/Kittydatefriend). 



The setting sun left a lovely glimmer of light in the city of Inkpopolis, looking similar to that of tragic house fire manifesting itself in a suburban neighbourhood. The day was reaching it’s death and the young punks who can’t decide what to colour the fucking floors finally gave up for the day, only to make plans to do the same the next day. Several rebellious teenagers beat the shit out of an innocent vending machine, laughing at the poor child they splatted minutes before. 

Gree wasn’t like other girls. She was constantly screaming, never stopping unless she needed to breath or pick up cute squids who totally aren’t girls, because uhm, she’s street DUH.She had like, 2 friends, because she was kinda a fucking loser, by the names of Obb and Quat. She wore typical totally-a-straight-girl wear, just an olive ski jacket, Bro trail boots, and badass pilot goggles, and her tentacles were totally, 100% straight.

Her friends made fun of her for how cocky she was, but she didn’t give a shit. She ran gay into battle headfirst, like some kind of tank who thought they were invincible. She didn’t know what fear felt like. It was a useless emotion, one that only puny squids felt. She was strong. Even if she fell off a platform and nearly broke every bone in her body, she would manage to do a cool flip. It wasn’t really that cool though. They sucked.

Quat bullied Gree about this every chance she got. Gree cried herself to sleep at night because of this. It hurt her feelings.

“Yo Gree waht the fuck, those matches were horrible…” Quat mumbled. She glared at Gree, who seemed spaced out.

“OH YEAH, YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS THEY WERE.” Gree replied. For some reason, Gree only heard Quat say “Wow Gree, you’re so amazing at paint carnage, we love you so much!”

Obb followed the two out of the tower, as the two were now running as fast as they could for some reason out of the towter. Gree turned around to glance at Obb and they gave each other a nod of understanding.

“Quat…..No matter what Gree says, we need another teammate. This is so shitty. Please.” Obb looked as though she was going to cry as they galloped through the plaza like beautiful horses. What the fuck is a horse.

“WHAT THE FUCK THAT’S NOT WAHT WE AGREED TO SAY,” Gree cried. “I’M TEAM CARRY THIS IS FI-” Before Gree could finish her sentence, she fell on her face. Her friends stopped and stared, as she just lay there in utter disappointment.

“Well ya know, it’s been awhile since we had a REAL team carry. We could have someone like Shitty Mcsh-”

Gree lifted her head and glared daggers into Quat. Quat was terrified, and made the sound similar to one of a dying goat in response.

“Eh It won’t be hard to find a team carry. Gree sucks anyways.” Said Obb before Gree began to get up, ready to pounce.

Gree stood up, still looking fucking PISSED. “MAYBE WE NEED ANOTHER TANK.”

“What the fuck no, that would have to be like, an Octolingo or something. Also Inklingigngings aren’t even tanks, you uneducated swine.

“WAIT WAIT, I WAS JOKEING JFC YOU CAN’T TAKE A joke. HOW WOULD WE EVEN GET ONE ON OUR TEAM THEY eat people.” 

Obb took off her headphones and slammed them into the ground, smashing them to tiny pieces. “Don’t make JOKES guys that’s not fucking ALLOWED.”

“WHY NOT? ARE YOU SCARED OF BEING VORED?”

“Ew no wtf”

Everything went silent for a moment. They all stared at each other.

“Well uh...I dunno. I heard they like, steal shit. And eat people.” Quat imitated an angry cat, but it was really awful. Gree felt personally offended. Those are  _ her _ nyas, not Quat’s.

“PFFT, everyone knows stealing doesn’t exist. Either way, it’s probably just more like….Old Captain Man propaganda. I heard he’s trying to make an army of rebellious teenagers with it.”

“WHAT.” Gree replied.

“What.” Said Quat.

“Oh whatever. He’s smely anyways,” Chimed Obb.

“They’re not smely! Don’t be mean to them!” Quat retorted.

“CAN YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR TWO SECONDS I’M TRYING TO THINK ABOUT HOW HOT I AM,” Gree snapped, startling the two Inklingigngingings.

“Okay, fine. But I want to know if Obb is afraid of being vored,” 

Obb looked ready to cry, right there and then.

“Ok fine. I’m scared of vore, you bully.”

“THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT BABES, I GOT THIS,” Gree punched Obb in the gut, causing her to cumble to the ground. “VORE ISN’T REAL AND NEITHER IS STEALING, SO I’M GONNA GET MY CUTE ASS OVER THERE AND PROVE IT TO YOU!”

“Gree, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Said Quat, who proceeded to kick Obb in the gut. “Hey Uh I think she broke a rib,”

“FUCK YEAH IT’S AN AMAZING IDEA, I CAN’T WAIT!”

 

* * *

 

The three losers stood in front of the sewers. Quat looked worried while Obb was in awful shape, but Gree was vibrating in her spot, ready to kick some ass and prove that eating isn’t real and neither is stealing.

“Try not to die, Gree. We know you’re emo but please. Also, don’t be smely or you’re banned,” Obb said, though her tone said she was dead inside and didn’t care.

“IT’S FINE DON’T WORRY I CAN SELF HEAL,” Gree reassured her. This was bullshit.

Gree pulled the top off the hole with terrifying force, and plunged into the unknown to discover the truth. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> :)


End file.
